The Rebel Within–Expectations
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They value choice, freedom, and self-expression or identity, and enjoy bucking convention and expectation. Sometimes this resistance to expectations gets them in trouble though, and they make a choice that goes against their own self-interest or desires.
Because they do what they want, Rebels are free from the pressures other tendencies succumb to in terms of expectations. They enjoy challenges if they can choose how to meet them, and do best when there are no expectations.
Careers that allow for individuality and value pushing the envelope can be a good fit for Rebels. For instance, academia is full of Rebels, particularly with tenure. Once they get tenure, Rebels have a secure job but one where they can, for the most part, do things their own way, on their own schedule, and still publish papers or make work that rebels against the existing research and carves a new path.
People with the Rebel tendency who tip Questioner will focus more on fulfilling their internal expectations than resisting external expectations. These Rebels actually enjoy working for themselves, as long as no one else gets their expectations involved. One Rebel commented that no one cared whether he went to the gym or not, so he went every day because he wanted to.
So the influence of a lifelong rebel on a young girl eager to rebel explains why - almost three decades later - I didn't hesitate one minute when a friend called me in Florida to tell me Prince was doing a show in Chicago. Of course, I would be there. I knew that Prince would break boundaries and defy society's expectations. This was always instructive to me.
Like the rest of the misfits crowded into the United Center in 2012, I saw in Prince the passion to embrace his own identity within the confines of a world that still struggled to categorize and limit him. Even firmly planted in middle age, Prince pushed the limits of what it meant to be a black man. Prince was unabashedly himself. Since my first introduction to him in the early 1980s, I have been moved by Prince's fearless commitment to destroying our expectations about music, style, sexuality, gender norms, artistic expression and conformity. This was an especially important lesson to me as I struggled with my own identity as a weird black kid growing up in Miami.
In America's music industry, where black men are particularly saddled by heteronormative culture, Prince was truly a revolution. His gender-fluidity set him apart. In the Reagan era, his shameless sexuality made him a provocateur. Later in life, his religious conversion and clean lifestyle made him equally provocative. Whatever your expectations were, Prince shattered them.
I also witnessed Prince's disruptive power when he played in my hometown as the halftime show for the 2007 Super Bowl. Prince rocked a do-rag at the iconic Miami Super Bowl Performance. I had seen them hundreds of times on brothers in Liberty City. But when Prince donned one -- and complimented it with his signature eyeliner and high heels -- even the do-rag took on a new meaning. It was at once a nod to the 'hood and a provocative challenge to the carefully manicured image the industry usually imposes on artists. Prince had already famously rebelled by painting the word "slave" on his face. This more nuanced rebellion was accomplished through an image that refused to bend to anyone else's beliefs. For Prince, coupling a turquoise suit and a do-rag made perfect sense.
Yes, Purple Rain is an unqualified masterpiece. And Prince is an icon. But above all, Prince was a revelation to misfits, disruptors and other oppressed people. His legacy gives us all permission to be fearless, be unconventional and break boundaries. The lifelong rebel who raged against the machine while wearing purple heels left some big shoes to fill.
For some things, like exercising regularly, I have basically zero resistance and it is incredibly easy for me to do this every week with an almost fanatical zeal. This holds true for me whether the expectation comes from within myself or from an an outsider (people, society, etc.).
To some, this need to understand and choose may seem somewhat unruly and rebellious. To others you may see yourself in this. Regardless of the personal resonance, almost all of us know someone like this (whether we are consciously aware of it).
According to Gretchen's Four Tendencies quiz I am a Rebel (take quiz here). And according to her framework as a Rebel I resist all expectations, outer and inner... Wait, what?! This sounds so familiar!
Self-knowledge is such a powerful tool. Deeply understanding what and how we are motivated is an incredible way to bring effectiveness, more grace and increased happiness to our very own lives so that we can meet inner & outer expectations and build & break habits with the least amount of friction possible and in the most efficient way for our individual way of being.
will follow through on outer expectations, such as those imposed by a boss or society at large, but they have a hard time following through on inner expectations such as New Years Resolutions. When they become resentful, they will rebel against those outer expectations. I find it interesting that Obligers will often treat the people closest to them (spouse, family) like an inner expectation so that they will place work or volunteer obligations ahead of family obligations and family obligations ahead of personal health or self-care.